Recently I started reading Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends And Influence People because, well, I have felt lately like I am alone. I know that I have many friends, very close friends, but they are all busy with their lives. Busy with jobs, busy with school [still], busy with their love life, busy with just about everything – it doesn’t help that I am over a hundred miles away from most of these best friends. So I decided to read up on how to win more friends, even though the book tends to lean more towards the business types that are cold humans that haven’t laughed since they were toddlers.
Nevertheless, good advice can be found throughout the book. I am only on page 67, but the first section offers three bullet pointed concepts that I would like to pass on to anyone reading this. Enjoy!
• Principle 1 Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
I LOVE THIS PRINCIPLE. I grew up constantly being criticized for “doing something wrong” when typically I had no instruction or guidance on how to complete the task at hand. From now on I am doing my best to not belittle, destroy, or complain about another person’s performance, ideals, etc.
• Principle 2 Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Essentially, give credit when credit is due and respect people. Even when it is the little things, examples: a waiter bringing out a new drink when yours is nearly empty, when someone opens the door for you, and/or when your co-workers succeed on the job.
• Principle 3 Arouse in the other person an eager want.
This one was harder for me to grasp. I always read tips about “talking less about yourself, and more about your date/friends,” which has never been difficult for me to do, but when it comes to someone I rarely know it is harder for me to pick up on what I can say to them. The best effort, however, is to gauge your surroundings if you’re in their office, their home, or at a particular event then go from there. As the book states, people generally love talking about themselves and their interests.