NME: 30 Heinous Crimes Against Music

NME asked its viewers (over Facebook and Twitter) what they (the viewers) believed to be the most heinous crime against music? It resulted in thirty hilarious quotes that are listed below. Here is the original article. The quotes posted are exact quotes, and there likely will be misspellings.

  • “Mike Flowers Pops covering Oasis’ ‘Wonderwall’ “
  • “Pitbull sampling A-ha’s ‘Take On Me’ synth-riff on ‘Feel This Moment’. It’s simply painful.”
  • “Has to be Wyclef Jean’s cover of ‘Wish You Were Here’! Still makes me shudder!!!!”
  • “But The Scissor Sisters mutilation of ‘Comfortably Numb’ was worse.”
  • “What Does The Fox Say is more of a crime…” in reference to a Nickelback comment.
  • “Nickelback
  • “Music could and should be used more in education, and where’s the love for music teachers/lecturers at all levels?”
  • Any of the TV singing talent shows, they are all horrible and are responsible for promoting people with no talent and boring sanitized pop music.” YES I AGREE SO MUCH WITH THIS COMMENT.
  • “Cowell’s bastardisation of ‘Hallelujah’ and ‘Many Of Horrors’ [as covered by Matt Cardle] must be pretty high up there.”
  • “Will.I.Am
  • “Anything that takes a hook from a song you love to make a cheesy dance track or generic r and b track”
  • “That fucking awful Bastille version of Rhythm Is A Dancer. Or just Bastille in general. Or Radio 1.” Yikes, I like Bastille!
  • “[Green Day] for their awful cover of The Clash.”
  • “Justin “Mfck” Bieber singing “Fade To Black” AND Metallica saying its OK”
  • “The fact that Miley Cyrus released a song called Wrecking Ball… it’s a crime against The Boss.”
  • The video for dancing in the streets with Bowie and Jagger dancing about like a couple of fannys was a crime”
  • Headlining for the number one spot this weekend is Lily Allen’s cover of the insipid Keane megahit. (Not a quote, but a statement from someone at NME?)
  • “[E]verything Coldplay made after ‘A Rush Of Blood To The Head’ has been, let’s face it, a bit shit with the subtleties of ‘Parachutes’ traded in for flatulent stadium rock.”
  • Courtney Love for “taking the Nirvana name for everything it’s worth. Cheap move.”
  • “That whole Dubstep thing. What even is that?”
  • “Celine Dion might have a goddamn amazing set of pipes but she shouldn’t be let anywhere near AC/DC’s ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’.”
  • “Mickey Bubbles. He’s just got a punchable face, hasn’t he? Quite aside from the elevator jazz he peddles.”
  • “Queen, along with a couple of others. I just can’t see why people like them” Wow. What a blasphemer, but different strokes for different folks!
  • “Beady Eye covering Rolling Stones’ ‘Gimme Shelter’ is up there in the most heinous crimes known to man. In fact it’s an unforgivable sin.”
  • “Kaiser Chiefs’ ‘what do you want for tea, I want crisps’ is an unsurpassed crime.”
  • “One Direction plagiarising The Clash’s Should I Stay Or Should I Go was unforgivable.”
  • The quality of the iPod’s ubiquitous white buds have long been questioned by music-lovers.
  • “How about Devlin and Ed Sheeran teaming up to desecrate both Bob Dylan’s and Jimi Hendrix’s versions of ‘All Along The Watchtower’ last year?”
  • “One of the worst musical transgressions of recent memory was the idea that Mick Jagger plus Joss Stone plus Dave Stewart of Eurythmics equals great supergroup.”
  • “Fall Out Boy’s horrible cover of Joy Division’s ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’. Whiney singing, lack of melody and the overall removal and meaning of what I think is one of the most moving and powerful sings ever written.”

Wow. So that’s a lot to handle in just a few minutes of reading. There’s a lot I agree with, and a lot I disagree with here in this list, but that’s what’s great about music lovers – not everyone loves the same things so we have more variety.

What do you think is a crime against music?