Watch: Lady Gaga’s Opening Monologue On SNL

She did a great job on Saturday Night Live last night. I like Lady Gaga, but I didn’t know if she had the ‘comedy’ in her to do well on a show like SNL. She blew me completely away in nearly all of her skits and performances; she’s quite funny and plays several personalities well (which was obvious in her performances before, but that is beside that point).

Her opening monologue pokes fun at two different types of applause: 1) genuine applause about a statement/comment/performance and 2) pandering applause such as ‘Let’s Give It Up For New York!’ She (well a SNL cast member) also makes light of her not wearing pants during performances.

Here’s her opening monologue:

Over 5000 Views!

Thank you all so very much for the page views, comments, and all around awesome!

Chwomp also has hit 2000 views in a single month for the first time ever as well!

For being so awesome and loyal I present you with this great ditty:

If there is anything in particular you would like Chwomp to cover (music wise specifically) please comment below!

Also, tell your music loving friends! Follow us on Facebook and Twitter!

The Rambler: Congress – Red vs. Blue

Ed. Note: This piece features what some may consider ‘swear’ words. You have been warned, but we at Chwomp would like to state that just because a piece features ‘swear’ words does not discredit the piece whatsoever. It is important to keep everything in context, and the below ‘swear’ words are kept in context. Please feel free to voice your opinion(s) in our comments section.

Please watch the below video of ‘Red v. Blue‘ before you read this. (Hell, you may not even have to read this after watching the video because it personifies my thoughts about Congress pretty damn well.)


For those who have never seen Red vs. Blue, it was a YouTube series created around 2003. It centered on the video game ‘Halo: Combat Evolved’ as a fictional, comedic series involving many characters and stories. The general attitude of the videos is described effectively in the video I have provided for you.

Almost a week after the government has re-opened, I felt it was the right time to throw my two cents into this whole ordeal. I am not going to talk about certain issues or agendas that Congress has but simply this: it is literally the Red Republicans versus the Blue Democrats. George Washington warned us in his farewell address that a rise in political parties would be detrimental to our government and society. Well, I think, wherever good old Georgie is, that he is laughing his ass off and saying, “I told you so.”

"I told you so." - George Washington (Source)

“I told you so.” – George Washington (Source)

Now, let me come to the defense of the parties just to keep things fair. The original concept of Congressional representatives, Senators and House members alike, was simple: take an ordinary citizen, a farmer, merchant, etc., that was deemed a viable voice by his community and send him to Washington to discuss and fight for the needs of his community; then after the talking and voting were over they would return home and continue their lives. That worked for a country the size of the original thirteen colonies. However, as our country grew ever larger, the edges of the map began being filled in, and more people began popping up every day – a problem began to arise. It became increasingly difficult for people to travel long distances for Congressional hearings, but also with there being more people it became hard to speak for all of the people. Here we begin to see that political parties are inevitable. Parties are incredibly efficient because they allow for individuals with common beliefs to come together and create legislation. So, in a world like today, political parties, in a reality, make sense.

HOWEVER (Caps mean this is serious business, people), the parties have strayed far from their intended purpose. They run rampant with our taxes, gerrymander, sling mud, and basically drive our country into the filth that whence came from my bowels. The scary part, folks, is that they make up 99% of Congress, the Reds and the Blues. Every bill that comes through seemingly plays out like the video at the beginning of this piece. Reds and Blues all fight over some meaningless issue that they hold to a Deity like level.

This latest shutdown was exactly that: petty fighting just because one is Blue and the other Red. This pettiness seeps out into the regular population and the fighting continues there. House Speaker John Boehner is quoted in saying “We fought the good fight…” in regards to the shutdown.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Seriously? You think this is a game? The Reds and Blues do realize that they displaced hundreds of thousands of people for two weeks (could have been much longer) because of the endless bickering; finger pointing, nit-picking, lobbying for changes, additions, cancellations of the most random, pointless items. They almost brought our country to its first default and China was calling for a “De-Americanized” world. The worst part of it all is that during the shutdown when all of those people stopped getting paid, ALL of Congress still received full pay – millions of dollars still being paid to the very people that caused the whole incident. Then, they have the audacity to pat themselves on the back for saving the country from ultimate crisis. Unbelievable. Washington was right, these parties, the Reds and the Blues, will be the inevitable downfall of our country.

Congress has never had the greatest approval ratings, but the approval ratings are currently at a historic low.

Congress has never had the greatest approval ratings, but the approval ratings are currently at a historic low. (Source)

There is still blame to be put on the citizens, though. We keep re-electing these jag-offs. We keep complaining about Congress, and polls every year show a record low in approval ratings across the board. So, we are partly to blame for all of this. If we really want to make a difference, vote out the current members. Completely overhaul the whole damn thing; that is our Constitutional right, you know. All I know is that when voting season comes back around I will make an effort to raise awareness and encourage citizens to vote out current members. We need to be careful though, not to replace one scumball with another.

I was once proud by the fact that I am an American. But now, my current feelings to being so are expressed pretty well by Macklemore in his song ‘American.’ I’m embarrassed, disgusted even, that I live here. What do I have to be proud of right now? Someone enlighten me.

-The Rambler

(If you would like to contact your representative, but do not know who your representative is, please click this link!)

Source Material:

“American” –Macklemore, Album: Unplanned Mixtape

“Boehner: ‘We fought the good fight. We just didn’t win.’” –Bryan Koenig, October 16, 2013

“Red vs Blue” (Until 6:50)

Red vs. Blue Wiki

New Contributor to Chwomp!

In the next few days, a good friend of mine will be contributing his first story to this blog, Chwomp. He will be making a weekly post about various things happening in the world, while also relating it to music. It is fascinating and exciting! I cannot wait until I get to read his draft of his first piece.

Adam Duritz welcomes my new contributor! (Source: Jewcy.com)

Adam Duritz welcomes my new contributor! [Not really, obviously](Source: Jewcy.com)

In the future, I hope to broaden the spectrum of Chwomp with more contributors to give different points of views, and different writing styles, while still having the blog inherently be music based. I hope you welcome him with open arms when his first piece is posted!

Thanks for reading!

Pokémon of the Week: Mewtwo!

Here are previous ‘Pokémon of the Week.’

THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS POST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

In honor of the night before the official release of Pokémon X/Y I figured that the Pokémon with the richest backstory deserves some recognition on here. Also, Mewtwo got some sick mega evolutions!

Here is the Mewtwo that every knows, even the people that stopped playing Pokémon. (Source: Bulbapedia)

Here is the Mewtwo that every knows, even the people that stopped playing Pokémon. (Source: Bulbapedia)

Mewtwo is the third Pokémon from Generation 1 to be ‘Pokémon of the Week’ (Pikachu; Charizard), and only the second Legendary to be ‘Pokémon of the Week’ (Darkrai). I apologize if I come across as a ‘Genwunner,’ but I swear I am not! I just believe the Pokémon I have selected from Generation 1 are very important to the universe of Pokémon.

Mewtwo is a standalone Pokémon (in the traditional evolution sense) and is Psychic type Pokémon. Mewtwo is always a very high leveled Pokémon, unless hacked, so it adds to the immense power that Mewtwo has and exudes. It is weak to Dark-Type, Ghost-Type, and Bug-Type attacks, and is super effective against Fighting-Type and Poison-Type.

Here is Mewtwo’s backstory right from Bulbapedia:

According to the scientific logs found in the Pokémon Mansion of Cinnabar Island, Mewtwo was born of a pregnant Mew, found deep in the jungles of Guyana, whose embryo had been tampered with to alter its DNA. It was held and studied in the mansion where the scientists, including Blaine and Mr. Fuji, performed horrific gene-splicing experiments that made it vicious and extremely powerful. It eventually broke free of the Mansion, destroying it in the process, and fled. It can be encountered in Cerulean Cave, accessible only after a Trainer has proven his or her skill at the Indigo Plateau.

There is a longer explanation about Mewtwo and it’s back story but this will suffice for a short summary. It’s always humorous when Pokémon refers real world places (Guyana).

Still, though, Mewtwo’s life is one that came with a lot of unnecessary pain and anguish. I always felt horrible for Mewtwo, and wanted to be it’s friend so terribly. Alas, Mewtwo is just a sprite (sad face).

Mewtwo is being reignited in Generation Six with two mega evolutions.

Here is a quick explanation on how Mega Evolution works.

This is Mewtwo - X. It is Psychic/Fighting. (Photo Credit: Bulbapedia)

This is Mewtwo – X. It is Psychic/Fighting. (Photo Credit: Bulbapedia)

Mewtwo X can only be found in Pokémon X (go figure, huh?) and looks more like the original Mewtwo. Several Pokémon fans speculate that this Mewtwo Megalution is more genetically modified than the other, continuing the process of making Mewtwo stronger through science. The attack stat is boosted for Mewtwo X.

This is Mewtwo - Y. It is pure psychic type. (Photo Credit: Bulbapedia)

This is Mewtwo – Y. It is pure psychic type. (Photo Credit: Bulbapedia)

Here is Mewtwo Y. Unlike the other Megalution, this one does get an extra typing, but gets a boost in special attack. As speculated with the other Megalution, this Mewtwo Y seems to look more like Mew (what scientists were trying to create through cloning) and more ‘natural’ in the Pokémon world.

As I do every week I present an artist’s work from deviantArt on the ‘Pokémon of the Week’ and as always IT’S THEIR WORK – THEY DESERVE ALL CREDIT. This week’s artist is purplekecleon (check out their page!) and this picture gives a softer side to Mewtwo.

This is the least menacing I've ever seen Mewtwo! So cute. (Source: purplekecleon)

This is the least menacing I’ve ever seen Mewtwo! So cute. (Source: purplekecleon)

Well that’s it for today’s Pokémon post! I hope you had a great time reading it. Let me know of your opinion on Mewtwo or it’s Megalutions! Can’t wait to play X/Y tomorrow.

It’s Nice To Live In A Rural Area Sometimes

It's Nice To Live In A Rural Area Sometimes

Sunset in the Midwest.

I know I’m typically a music blogger, but I felt like everyone had to witness this beautiful sunset.

Pokémon of the Week: Tyrantrum!

Here are the previous ‘Pokémon of the Week.’

That’s right, the newly revealed evolved form of one of the Generation 6 fossil Pokémon is the Pokémon of the Week – mainly because I’ve always wanted a T-Rex Pokémon and this guy/gal is just too badass to not be Pokémon of the Week. If you disagree let me know why in the comments.

Just so awesome; I love his spiky collar he's got going for him.

Just so awesome; I love his spiky collar he’s got going for him. Known as the ‘Despot Pokémon.’ Source.

Tyrantrum, and it’s pre-evolution Tyrunt, has a typing of Rock/Dragon (this line is the only Rock/Dragon typing) and appears to be a formidable Pokémon. There is not much known about Tyrantrum yet, but we can deduce a few things. Since it’s so large and is obviously modeled after a Tyrannosaurus Rex, it will likely be a ponderous creature (slower speed) and more attack-oriented Pokémon (Outrage spam, anyone?). Why do I think it’ll be attack-oriented versus special attack-oriented? Because it’s a T-Rex Rock/Dragon that’s why! Rock is primarily an attack-oriented type, and I believe ‘Power Gem’ is the only special Rock type attack. It will likely be able to learn Dragon-type special moves (Draco Meteor, Dragon Pulse, etc.), but it will be in your interest to only use attacking moves.

As always I include artwork from an artist from on deviantARt. The artwork always belongs to THE ARTIST! This week’s artwork is by Toxicroak (Check out their other work please!).

This was easily the best artwork of the newly released Tyrantrum!

This was easily the best artwork of the newly released Tyrantrum!

What’s your opinion on this new Generation 6 Pokémon? And what will your team look like in Pokémon X and/or Y?

Here’s mine so far (with their starting evolution point):

  • Chespin
  • Squirtle
  • Litleo
  • Pancham
  • Tyrunt (though likely later in the game)
  • Torchic (until I find a better replacement)

Thanks for reading.